After just shy of 2 years I guess I'm going to come back to the blog world. Life has been a rollercoaster and maybe I'll finally start getting my thoughts organized.
I leave for Ft Lee, VA in less than 2 weeks and I'm nervous. After fracturing my hip and everything else that has gone on I have gotten way far out of shape, oh well. I feel like I am finally getting my life squared away and getting back in the swing of things and now I'm leaving again. I just pray the time while I am there goes by fast and uneventful.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Looking back at a year
1 year ago today Jaret was born still and I was fighting sickness. I can't believe it has actually been a year now. My heart is still broken and raw, although the pain has gotten less and life does move forward. Looking back I see that my little boy made the ultimate sacrifice. He sacrificed himself for his mom and his 2 younger brothers. Because of his sacrifice the 3 of us are here. It doesn't make things any easier, but I know that God has a plan in all of this and i see some of it now.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Not what i wanted to hear...
So after 3 weeks of strict bedrest, i saw my dr again and while im sure it couldve been worse, i definitely didnt hear what i wanted to. Babies are all healthy and great, however my cervix is all soft and James is pushing up against it pretty bad. While im not all dilated or anything, my dr is concerned and fears that if i do start going into labor, she doesnt think they will be able to stop it. Sooo, i need to be even more careful, if i have signs of labor i have to go straight to st vincents, since im still too early to deliver at meridian park. I had to start the steroid shots tonight, which definitely doesnt feel good, but if the lil guys show up soon it will help em out big time. I hopefully will find out the result of my ffn test in the am to see chances of boys showing up in the next week or 2.
Quite honestly i'm a nervous mess right now. The boys could show up any day if they really want to, or they could hold out and i have to be induced. I feel like everything is up in the air. The fact that both jas and my parents are outta town all next week has me even more nervous. I am so ready to be done, but i pray these boys make it a couple more weeks. Ugh...Sanity check?
Quite honestly i'm a nervous mess right now. The boys could show up any day if they really want to, or they could hold out and i have to be induced. I feel like everything is up in the air. The fact that both jas and my parents are outta town all next week has me even more nervous. I am so ready to be done, but i pray these boys make it a couple more weeks. Ugh...Sanity check?
Sunday, June 14, 2009
The stupidity amazes me
We just dealt with a house-guest situation that turned out pretty bad. My husband has a soft spot of helping out friends in need, and thats why we ended up with the extra person in the house a year ago. Needless to say, he didn't hold up to his end of the bargain and became a serious mooch, adding more stress to our life. After a couple altercations between him and jas recently, and then a final straw over last weekend when we came back after being gone a couple days, Jas had finally had enough and monday had given him a 2 week notice.
Tuesday evening jas went down into the garage to check on his status, and he pulled the "i'm going to pretend you're not there so you'll go away." That obviously didnt go over well with jas and he turned the computer monitor to get his attention. Our mooch grabbed jas, who fell over on him, and then he started choking jas. When jas got him off, he told our mooch to leave or he would call the cops to have him removed. The mooch then picked up the phone and dialed 911 himself to report a domestic dispute. Real smart move on his part since he's the one that assaulted jas, not the other way around....duh.... 3 cops arrived shortly and tried to sort out the situation. With the lovely marks around jas's neck, jas could've pressed charges for both assault and attempted murder, but that would be adding more to a situation than we wanted. In the end the cops watched him as he packed up a bag, jas made an arrangement what hours he could come get the rest of his stuff, and he left.
Wednesday we heard nothing from him, so jas called his dad to see if he had heard from the mooch and wanted to work out getting his stuff outta our house, his dad never called us back. Thursday jas called his sister, and apparently he was already outta the state and had flown down to stay with her. She said he wanted his computer and his documents (what kinda moron leaves important documents like ss card, birth certificate etc) and he would sign over the title to his pos to let a tow company take and give us a couple bucks for shipping his stuff odwn. I can assure you that the $100 they said the towing company would give us wouldnt cover the shipping. Not to mention we are now stuck with all the other crap he left behind, cleaning it up. Who knows what exactly he told his family, but apparently he was playing the victim card and his family via email is trying to sound intelligent and square away this situation with jas when they are only making themselves look like morons. Its quite humorous actually. The more we have been finding out over the last few days, the more jas and i felt stupid over believing this guy, when it appears he instigates this kinda crap. It also makes us realize how much of a dumbass HE is in how he has handled things and is definitely not putting himself in a better situation. We'll see what happens...
Tuesday evening jas went down into the garage to check on his status, and he pulled the "i'm going to pretend you're not there so you'll go away." That obviously didnt go over well with jas and he turned the computer monitor to get his attention. Our mooch grabbed jas, who fell over on him, and then he started choking jas. When jas got him off, he told our mooch to leave or he would call the cops to have him removed. The mooch then picked up the phone and dialed 911 himself to report a domestic dispute. Real smart move on his part since he's the one that assaulted jas, not the other way around....duh.... 3 cops arrived shortly and tried to sort out the situation. With the lovely marks around jas's neck, jas could've pressed charges for both assault and attempted murder, but that would be adding more to a situation than we wanted. In the end the cops watched him as he packed up a bag, jas made an arrangement what hours he could come get the rest of his stuff, and he left.
Wednesday we heard nothing from him, so jas called his dad to see if he had heard from the mooch and wanted to work out getting his stuff outta our house, his dad never called us back. Thursday jas called his sister, and apparently he was already outta the state and had flown down to stay with her. She said he wanted his computer and his documents (what kinda moron leaves important documents like ss card, birth certificate etc) and he would sign over the title to his pos to let a tow company take and give us a couple bucks for shipping his stuff odwn. I can assure you that the $100 they said the towing company would give us wouldnt cover the shipping. Not to mention we are now stuck with all the other crap he left behind, cleaning it up. Who knows what exactly he told his family, but apparently he was playing the victim card and his family via email is trying to sound intelligent and square away this situation with jas when they are only making themselves look like morons. Its quite humorous actually. The more we have been finding out over the last few days, the more jas and i felt stupid over believing this guy, when it appears he instigates this kinda crap. It also makes us realize how much of a dumbass HE is in how he has handled things and is definitely not putting himself in a better situation. We'll see what happens...
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Little Angels
Its been a couple days shy of 10 months since Jaret died and i'll admit the pain is still very there. I've been blessed to be in contact with ladies that have also lost their lil ones, some even more recently than us. One lady posted a poem that hit me right in the heart and i wanted to share it:
Little Angels
When God calls little children to dwell with Him above
We mortals sometimes question the Wisdom of His love.
For no heartache compares with the death of one small child,
Who does so much to make our world seem wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to his fold,
so He picks a rosebud before it can grow.
God knows how much we need them
and so He takes but few,
to make the land of Heaven more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult,
still somehow we must try,
the saddest work mankind knows
will always be 'good-bye.'
So when a little child departs,
we who are left behind,
must realize God loves children........
Angels are hard to find
Little Angels
When God calls little children to dwell with Him above
We mortals sometimes question the Wisdom of His love.
For no heartache compares with the death of one small child,
Who does so much to make our world seem wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to his fold,
so He picks a rosebud before it can grow.
God knows how much we need them
and so He takes but few,
to make the land of Heaven more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult,
still somehow we must try,
the saddest work mankind knows
will always be 'good-bye.'
So when a little child departs,
we who are left behind,
must realize God loves children........
Angels are hard to find
You'd think i'd have more time to blog...
So i've made it to June. 29 weeks along and the boys are still cookin, but apparently not without some protest. Ended up in the hospital at week 27 due to contractions and feelin like something wasnt right. Come to find out i was already about 1 cm dilated according to the dr, so i got hooked up to ivs, given a shot of terbutaline, and spent a good 5 hours in the hospital until i was released home. I am now officially on strict bedrest (i can get up for a shower and the bathroom). Almost 2 weeks into this and im going nuts! I can feel my body deteriorating, i cant get comfortable, i feel useless, and while i want these boys to cook, i just want this all to be over. At my 28 week appt i was measuring 39 weeks along for a woman prego with a singleton. Yikes! James was measuring in about 2lb 9 oz, and Jonathan at 3lbs, so they definitely good sized lil boys! My big goal right now is to make it to week 32, then week 35. After that i feel like anything is fair game. No one thinks i will make it to week 38 when i would end up being induced, but just watch and thats exactly whats going to happen simply because no one thinks it will. Now if i could just keep myself from going nuts for the next 6 or so weeks...
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Still Cookin'
Tuesday i'll officially be 23 weeks. I've past the point where I was when Jaret died. I feel like i can slowly start breathing, but i'll admit i'll be anxious until my next appt on thursday when i can see them both and make sure they're ok. For me, i think the next big milestone is week 26 when they get to open they're eyes and they're chances of survival start jumping up.
My belly is now bigger than it was when i had Julianna and continues to grow at the rate of a weed. You can tell when the boys hit a growth spurt cause i swear within 24 hours there is a noticable difference in the size of my belly. I feel like in a couple weeks i'm going to basically be stuck in a chair throughout the day, oy! Keep moving forward right?
My belly is now bigger than it was when i had Julianna and continues to grow at the rate of a weed. You can tell when the boys hit a growth spurt cause i swear within 24 hours there is a noticable difference in the size of my belly. I feel like in a couple weeks i'm going to basically be stuck in a chair throughout the day, oy! Keep moving forward right?
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