"...More than you can handle"

We all know the saying "God doesn't give us more than we can handle" but i'm really not feelin that one right now, cause i cant handle the current situation let alone anything more and it seems crap keeps piling higher and higher. Lets look at the abbreviated list:
*Fighting the army for Jas's MMRB: i can handle that regardless of all the bs that they keep pulling.
*The rollercoaster of financial and family crap: we can handle that.
*Jaret dying: that's putting things to the edge.
*Back in the hospital again a month later: ok, now i'm getting closer to snapping.
*GMAC going back on their word, deciding they want to just tow the hummer and sue us: ok, now over the edge...

And to think thats the seriously abbreviated list! Any couple of those together, fine, bring it on! Ummm...did i mention i can't take any more? Startin to get the feelin God kinda hates me right now... If even one of those i didn't have to deal with, i could still feel some semblance of hope, but it aint there currently. Adios! Ciao! Auf Weidersehen! I'm done!

Hospitals Part 2

I'm officially done with hospitals for the next 10 years, i swear! Friday I ended up back at the hospital under the knife to fix a hernia(yeah i know, something you dont see in a girl). Apparently I actually had 2, of which one was quite large. So i have had the joy of being on my back for a week now with a 6" gash in my lower abdomen, oh joy! My mind is now long gone and any hope I previously had of finding it is also gone. For the last week my days have been spent watching episode after episode of red dwarf, popping vicodin, and drinking sprite trying to keep my mind off both pain and Jaret. As far as pain goes, I hope to fully be on my feet again in another week or so, we'll see. As to losing Jaret...i've come to terms with myself that I'm gonna be a mess for a long time, he's not coming back, someday i'll see him again, the pain wont ever go away, but i know eventually things will get better. Up until being stuck on the couch again, I've been glad school started and i'm getting busy again, cause it keeps my mind from dwelling. Back to the couch, I can only sit up so long...ugh...