A government agency incompetent? shocking!

It never ceases to amaze me the incompetence of government agencies! I finally managed to file my taxes only to have them kicked back and denied because they claimed Jason's birthdate was wrong. Lets see, Jason has assured me that he was born january 28, 1982, the german birth certificate filed 2/4/82 states the same birthdate, the german birth certificate filed in september the same year states the same date, and the german consulate report for birth abroad (his american version of a birth certificate) from august the same year also says 1/28/82. Now will so many "birth certificates" to choose from, wouldnt they have the date correct? So i call up the social security office this morning to see what on earth they are smoking. A few years ago they had claimed he was born in 1927, you would think they'd figure it out by now. The guy on the phone will NOT talk to me because i am not jason, doesnt matter that THEY screwed up the birthdate, that i have a power of attorney, or that jason is currently mobilized. They also wont let me go into the office with all the necessary documents to fix it, cause yet again, im not jason and they dont recognize poa. Jason during his short break between classes finally managed to get ahold of them and they informed him that his birthdate was 2/28/82, news to us! So for those of you who were wondering, apparently his mom did NOT give birth to him in january, cause the american government says so. And we wonder why social security has so many problems...

Once a yellow...

A couple years ago my parents discovered "the color code" and had the entire family take the test. Basically the idea behind it is that everyone has a core motive for why they do what they do and it can be broken into 4 different motives: reds are driven by power, blues by intimacy, whites by peace, and yellows by fun. Everyone has different percentages of each, but 1 color will come out on top. You take the test and answer it how reacted as a child, cause our motives never change, although our reactions later in life can alter based on circumstance. Needless to say, no one was totally shocked when i came up as 57% yellow. And i guess they're right, you may go through phases of your life where you are off, but in the end your motive doesnt change.

No one who knew me growing up would ever argue the fact that i was driven by fun! It caused serious problems along the way, but i had a good time, so it was all good. When i hit college though and started dating John, i was unrecognizable. He destroyed every aspect of me to the point that i didnt know who i was and i just wanted to crawl into a corner somewhere, and i did. When jas was deployed last time, it had been just over a year since i broke up with john, and i was still picking myself up. Needless to say, i was ok staying at home, playing computer, reading, whatever. Now we fastforward a couple years; the jenn is back. Yeah, im more mellow than i was, but apparently the yellow cant stay away forever, which leads to the nightmare of a time im having with jas gone now. I dont like being alone, i cant stay at home, im driving myself batty with missing him. I'm definitely NOT having fun, this sucks! Its a good thing i guess that i'm back, bad being me and being alone...Anyone up for karaoke?

Blink of an eye

After years of "talking" about it, i finally went in and got my first (probably also the last) tattoo which now graces my lower back. After sitting on a chair hunched over while someone jabbed needles in my spine, poof, a permanent change came into my life. We come across so many points in our life where one decision changes a part of your life forever. Sometimes its you speaking up and doing something (the tattoo for instance) and sometimes its you shutting up and not doing or saying anything(what led to me becoming a single mom instead of graduating college). I admit i am horrid about regularly perusing my life and seeing those crossroads and those decisions/lack of decisions that have led me to where i am today. Some of them i look at and smile (the day i met jason) and sometimes i shudder (insert dumb jenn thing here). So far the good and the bad have led me here: a very happily married mom in west linn. And now i look at myself in one of those very places i know im gonna look back on and smile or shudder all because of a phone call...
First of, one ask to ask themself what they are willing to sacrifice to keep their family safe. Well my answer is "many things!" Long story short, Jas had a phone call saturday that ended in a reassignment offer at the pentagon. Talk about a once in a lifetime opportunity! So i find myself looking at this crossroad that i may or may not have any decision which road we go down. 2 very different routes that we, once again, get to see what the military decides for us. Does jas go to maryland, then off to do the 50 calibur boogie in iraq? or does he go to maryland and head for the pentagon to further his career and we relocate the family? Where is jenn gonna be in the next 6 years? I know i wont be expecting it, cause i sure as heck wouldnt have guessed 6 years ago that i would be married, let alone have kids and a mortgage etc...

If they wanted you to have a family, they would have issued you one

So it looks like jason is leaving in less than 2 weeks. in less than 2 weeks the army is taking my husband away from me, taking him away from our kids, our life. And what for? so he can report the news back to our country and the dumbass american media who gets it wrong anyway. If u think about it, jas is going to be getting shot and possibly blown up so that some jackass newscaster here can twist the footage and news that he spillt his blood for to boost ratings. I know, i know, its probably not going to be that bad, but prepare for the worst, hope for the best right? I've got a 4-5 months where he is stateside before i even have to worry bout it at least. Thats tough, knowing your husband is in the same country, u can call him, yet you cant see him, cant touch him, but he's safe for awhile. Welcome to the army, hurry up and wait. I'll admit the last deployment pushed me to the point i felt like i was going to break. I'll give some of the credit to pregnancy hormones, i guess they mess ya up huh? He was safe then though, he wasnt anywhere near fighting, he just sat in a tower, read, played games, and was bored. This time he starts in danger and follows it, goes to where news is, that definitely doesnt help me sleep.
I'll be honest with myself, there is the chance of him coming home in a body bag, we've talked about it. What scares the snot outta me, is that he's prepared himself for that, he's ok if God calls him back. I'm proud of him for that, i really am, i admire him, but i fight tears as i ask myself if he's prepared and ready cause something WILL happen to him? Its a situation i never want to have to think about or deal with, i couldnt do it, i couldnt handle it. We are tapping what connections we've got to try to keep him home, i am way to uneasy this time around. Jas was supposed to be done with the military last month, we were supposed to have our lives back, i pray we can get it back! Can i just skip this part of my life?

Finally broke down and made one

After numerous notebooks and loose sheets of paper scrawled with my thoughts over the years, might as well just put them in one place. The curse of the jenn: too many thoughts running around my head at once and they dont quiet down. Let the blogging begin...